How do I become the best novelist in history?

Take your bound tomb and throw it out the window, catching someone important on the head like a political or religious figure and hope he dies from the injuries. You know like the magic bullet that got Kennedy and two others. You need the murdering book to catapult you into stardom and notoriety. Otherwise you'll have to do it the hard way like the rest of us. Write it and let others toot your horn and pay you scads of money. Oh right you haven't gotten as far as others. Toot toot.